Visitation

Today is the end of the liturgical calendar for Catholics as we celebrate the Feast of Christ the King. As always I am half awake in the very early morning and today I found myself continuously singing in my head "Christus vincit, Christus regnat, Christus... Christus imperat."  There were a lot of other thoughts going on my mind but they were all passing as the song pops up again in my head. I guess that was my prayer...

At mid morning, my nephew came to me to reveal his realization about doing good. I felt very happy and kept shouting in my mind "Lord thank You! thank You!"

Then just before 6 pm the image of the Lady of Fatima came to our home. It was a block rosary. My sister-in-law mentioned it the week before but I never realized my blessing until I read the opening prayer for the welcome...

"We remember, dear mother, your visit to your cousin, Elizabeth. You set out proceeding in haste into the hill country to a town in Judah.You knew you were the Mother of the Savior. A great honour! But you forgot your dignity and in humility you went to serve your cousin. You come with the concern for our needs"

And the family replies "We are honoured to receive you into our house, O Mary."

And indeed I feel honored and blessed to be visited by Mary and on the great feast of Christ the King at that! Many times when I feel low when I would pray to her and say "Mary visit me like you visited your cousin Elizabeth, my namesake!" And indeed she has.

Chemo 9

Due to my low magnesium level in my past chemo, the cardiologist prescribed me to take magnesium oxide and required me to have my blood tested for magnesium and potassium, one week prior to my chemo date so I did and added a CBC platelet count to also check my blood count particularly my WBC in advance.

My Magnesium and Potassium levels were normal but my WBC was really low that it would not pass for chemo. Far from it! I wanted my 9th chemo to push through on schedule since I really wanted it to be over plus I wanted to have good taste for food already by the time we celebrate my mama's birthday a little over a week after. So I felt a bit down feeling that I would need to have another injection to increase my WBC plus I will be delayed. But I prayed and asked the family to pray especially for my blood to be okay for my next extraction on Wednesday prior to my obgyn-onco checkup on Thursday. I was really happy when I got my result. Although my WBC is still below normal it would pass the ratio taught me by my doctor's secretary.

So, today I finally had my 9th Chemo with no untoward incident. Well they found a good vein for the drip only after the second attempt but that was not really big deal... and the drip was a bit slow so I wasn't able to follow the time schedule... still that did not really matter. What matter is that I had it on time. And I claim that it will already be my last chemo.

On the side, we (my niece who accompanied me and I) watched "A monster calls" on cable while in the hospital. It was based on the book of the same title. The monster there, who was actually the friend of both the mother who had terminal cancer and her son, was a YEW tree. It struck me because one of my main chemo medicine PACLITAXEL was initially from the Pacific Yew Tree. I was familiar with it because I researched it 6 years ago on my first chemo.

It was a sad movie as it was all about having mixed feelings when someone in the family is terminally sick but it was all about acceptance. Oh I am not saying I am terminally sick! I may have stage 4 cancer but I don't feel sick like the mother character there but still there is question of what is to come. Yet in the end, I come to realize that God is in control and whatever happens it will be good. So do not worry. Accept yet trust in the Lord and go on with life... living it to the fullest!

Chemo 8

My second chemo pushed through but it was a little bit delayed since I still needed to have magnesium infusion because my magnesium level was low. My ob-gyn onco thought my cardio doctor would come earlier for the instruction but he came way late so the magnesium drip was also late.

But I was very glad it pushed through because my ob-gyn onco would be gone for 2 weeks! That would have meant BIG DELAY!!! so small delay is way better than BIG DELAY! :)

Praying that one more is needed and I am done with chemo.
Please Lord!

Chemo 7

Had my 7th Chemo yesterday.

Thanks God the doctor got a good vein immediately. The chemo was tolerable as usual. It is not the chemo that cause pain and discomfort but always the after wards. In my case, pain and discomfort always starts after the second day. Nausea comes in immediately but last for around 5 days. Always finding good food to eat (good to my taste) for the first days so I could eat and gain strength immediately to be ready for the next chemo.

Actually I did not think that I'd have another set of chemo cycles. I was hoping that six would have been enough but as it is 3 more.

Somebody in church who survived breast cancer sent me a message on her prayer while undergoing chemotherapy. It was from the acronym of chemotherapy. It was a nice prayer and I was reading it the night before my chemo drip. But as I was reading it, I could feel my own prayer. It is actually my prayer each time I had but I just never prayed it following the acronym.

And so I prayed:

Come Lord Jesus
Hear my plea
Embrace me
Make me cling to Thee.
O my dearest Lord
Teach my troubled soul
How to rest on Thee
Eliminate anxiety.
Rouse my faith in Thee
Allow my mind and body
Peace, strength and security
You are with me in my chemotherapy.

CT-Scan and Lab results

Had my CT-scan and labs after a month but my doctor was away for a long time so only had my result checked today.

My nodules shrunk but not enough to be declared no evidence of disease so will have 3 more cycles starting month-end. Yay!

The hospital staff are having difficulty finding a good vein for the IV plus additional costs!
Lord please help me!

Chemo 6

I finally had my 6th chemo on August 3. I was delayed by 2 weeks unlike my previous chemos which were on time (after 3 weeks each). I wasn't really feeling well after my 5th chemo and I fainted at one point and had to rush to the hospital but did not have to be admitted and was just given medication for pain, low salt and fainting. Then I also had cold and sore throat and had antibiotic plus my WBC really went down that I was given filgastrim for  3 straight days but after which it went up so high that I had to wait for it to normalize and had another blood test only after which was I admitted for treatment.

I think one of the reason I fainted was also because I was tired. My mother has dementia and since I am in the house taking care of her and  we sleep together I was losing sleep since she would wake up several times at night to pee or just get up and look around. Well add that to the fact that I don't really get to sleep well at night. (I really miss the days when I immediately sleep when my head touches my pillow and sleep undisturbed and wake up only when its time to wake up to another day... I lost that grace on the year I was first diagnosed with the big C and never had it back).

My family helped by relieving for me and allowing me to rest in another room. My niece came and my cousin also stayed with my mother. :) And now that I'm done with chemo we are back together! My mother has dementia but she does not seem to forget that I am her beautiful daughter (just don't tell that to my other 2 sisters)! :)

Anyway, my 6th cycle is done and in a month's time I'll have my CT-Scan and CA-125 tests. I still don't feel too well, the third day after chemo starts the "FEEL BAD" days and last for a week. Hopefully I feel really better after a week. Looking forward to a good CT-scan and blood results. Hoping to hear from my doctor again the three letters "N-E-D", No Evidence of Disease but better yet praying that I am finally clear with no recurrence happening. PRAYING!

Chemo 5

Blood chemistry shows that my Hemoglobin count, RBC and WBC are still going down but thanks God it is still within the allowed limit for me to continue my Chemo. Unlike in 5 years ago where i had to have an injection and wait a few days for my WBC to go up. So far no need! Hopefully I still make it on time for my last comes July 20.

On my admission date, the veins on my hands are hiding and the nurse did not want to do the IV insert and called the Anesthesiologist. She used a gauge 24 abbocath needle (small) also found it difficult and had to do 3 inserts before being successful, she said she wanted to be 110% sure. And the IV drip for the hydration and pre-meds went well. however, the next day, when my main  chemo medicine (PACLITAXEL) was already placed, thed rip was so slow and would not make it to the 3 hour time frame so this time my main ob-onco doctor who was doing the rounds had to to the insert. He also found it hard but was able to find a good insert on the 3rd try. My cousin who was praying was so happy it finally was successful. So we had toi extend stay for a 2 1/2 more hours before we were finally discharged.

So fifth is finished, anticipating my sixth and last chemo cycle.

Praying that the tumors especially on the lungs are all gone and never going to return!

Chemo 4

My blood results were still okay so I had my fourth chemo today after being admitted yesterday for some preliminary medications. It went fine once again!

Chemo 3

Still on schedule. My blood result despite the WBC and and RBC getting low already are still within allowed level so I was admitted yesterday for preliminaries then had my 3rd chemo today. No unusual incident once more and as always was visited by my friends the night before to give moral support. What a source they are... they and so many others praying for me, supporting me especially my family too.

The pain and discomfort always kicks in on the second day after chemo on Friday night. Other patients in the doctor clinic doesn't seem to experience the pain in their legs and feet. The otehrs are mostly numbing of hands and feet but my pain is terrible despite the medicine but it goes away in a few days. So do the nausea and difficulty eating. After a few days I eat very well. Have too! Need to prepare my body for the next session. Just hoe I am able to sleep well so I could really gain good health and be ready.

And as always continue praying and trusting in the Lord. Everything will be okay.

Chemo 2

Only three weeks! My lab test were okay indicating I could take another chemo on time. My second.

Chemo 1 second time around

I was admitted yesterday for my 1st chemo.

Back to the second option

The mass in my lungs lungs have multiplied and gone bigger and I got a biopsy. Initial diagnosis was papillary adenocarcinoma but upon further strain test revealed that it was metastasis from my ovarian CA. So I am back to my second option... get chemo! No more operation but straight chemo using the same medicine.