Fr. Chito Tagle, the new Archbishop of Manila

Bishop Luis Antonio "Chito" Tagle has recently been appointed the Archbishop of Manila. People who have approached me are always excited when they invite me to his talks and they have reason to be. I've heard him and he has a very nice and humorous way of expressing his reflections that makes you reflect too.

I thought I'd share his talk in the 49th International Eucharistic Congress in Quebec, Canada titled "The Eucharist, the life of Christ in our lives." It is a very good reflection especially his own sharing of his own experiences...







I was particularly drawn to his insight on how the Roman Centurion was a model of adoration. How he watched Christ suffer from the hands of the high priest till His death on the Cross... giving His life in obedience to the Father and for the love of the people including those who betrayed him. He watched Christ as part of his duty as a soldier... he did not care how he suffered after all the people condemned him to die as a criminal and he has seen a lot of those being nailed on the cross... but Christ continued to carry his cross with complaining... forgiving those who wronged him... bearing the pain and suffering even if He could not feel the presence of His Father but surrendering everything to Him... all because of LOVE! The centurion saw this and could not help but contemplate on the truth that in the end exclaimed "Truly, this man was the Son of God." (Mark 15:39)

Like the Roman soldier I should always contemplate on the love of Christ despite all the noise, pain, hate and injustice happening around me because there is so much goodness and love in so many people that surrounds me after all. Likewise, I hope that being able to carry my crosses without complaining will also make others reflect on Christ's love. I know that so many people care for me and would want me to overcome my sickness yet there are others too who don't really know me. I hope that when they see me cheerful, hopeful and open to God's action in my life, they too would be able to say that "truly she is a daughter of God" and maybe get inspired too.

I believe such happened today because after the mass, a lady approached me and smiled as she touched my arms and said "God bless you!" Maybe she was happy to see a bald lady in bandana who should be sick yet was joyfully participating and celebrating the Eucharist...

My Third Chemo

My second chemo was postponed by a week because my white blood cell (WBC) count was very low and I had to be given injection to boost it and Thank God it improved.

After the discomfort and pain on the first week after my second chemo, I was again feeling better and and believed that the blood result test for my third chemo will be good that I just asked my brother to get it. Unfortunately there were several deviation from the normal level including the WBC which was lower than normal but not as low as before and the SGOT/SGPT which shoot up as compared to previous results. Oh Lord, I don't want another delay! I had to go to the doctor for his opinion praying all the way.

Indeed my result did not look good to me but my doctor, the specialist, had his own computation and reference and he says I can have my chemo as scheduled but I just have to take vitamin for my liver. I was happy!

I had my chemo and during his rounds he explained that he already anticipate the lowering of the results, it is part of the chemo process as the medicine targets the fast growing cells which are the cancer cells it also targets other good cells, so I just have to continue eating well and doing exercises to ensure that my body recovers for the next cycle.

I thought how it is with God. He has His own standard. he knows our weakness and loves us still. We just have to do the best we can so we experience His healing love.

I have to do my best and believe!

Thinking Differently

Steve Jobs died yesterday. Although the cause of his death was not given, it is believed that he died of pancreatic cancer, the disease he was diagnosed with and has been battling for a long time.

I don't have a mac, an ipod, an iphone, an ipad or many of the gadgets Apple has introduced into the market but I have been at amazed at how he returned and transformed Apple to what it is today after being kicked out from the company he founded...how he continued to work on his passions despite his illness and how his products have so much following. He certainly changed the way many people lived their lives.

I was reading on him and was caught by the Apple's 1997 advertisement "Think Different" and thought that it finely captures his take on life.

On that video they featured prominent people who think/thought differently and had a great impact on people's lives. And I thought of people I'd include if I were to make my video of people who thought differently and had a great impact on my life.

Jesus also thought differently, he was considered a rebel in his time. He did not think like the Jews of his time or like the world does. But his thought was in accordance with His Father. He is also asking us to do the same.

The saints and the martyrs also did not think as the world does. And they never lost their focus on God and their faith as they fulfilled their vision and mission. They should be our model in our role as Christians.

In this age of information technology, we should likewise "think differently" without losing our focus on our vision of sharing the gospel to the ends of the earth. It is so easy to just go with the tide and be like the rest and use our computer and the internet for information, work, relaxation and entertainment. This is especially now for me especially since I am temporarily not able to move about while undergoing chemo. Maybe it is time to think differently and use it to fulfill my mission as a Christian?

Well I know it is but I sure need a push! Oh God, please give me the grace not to just think differently but to act on your inspirations!

The Sign of Jonah

The Reading for the past 3 days has been from the Book of Jonah. It is one of the short books in the old testament and easy to read and it is also one of the books in the bible that strikes me most. Even Jesus made reference to it as he told the Jews asking for a sign that no sign will be given them except the "Sign of Jonah."

"In the same way that Jonah spent three days and nights in the belly of the monster fish, so will the Son of Man spend three days and three nights in the depths of the earth." Mt 12:40

Jonah's staying in the belly of the fish for 3 days and nights after he was thrown by the sailors to calm the sea is one of the greats stories and miracles in the Old testament. Yet Jonah is far from being an ideal prophet. He was so unlike Isaiah who immediately answered "Yes" to the Lord when called upon. He was a reluctant prophet full of pride and loves to complain, who would rather die than be proven wrong or be uncomfortable.

Sometimes I see myself as Jonah.

Oh how I could whine like Jonah over discomforts! I remember how I used to tell God a long time ago that He could take my life anytime for I was ready! Then I got sick and was in and out of the hospital for more than 3 months, having one operation after another. It was so distressful that I would cry and complain until one time I remembered how I keep telling God that I was ready to die anytime. I heard the words in my mind and I laughed! I actually laughed out loud and said what a hypocrite I was. There I was telling the Lord He could take me anytime, yet I complain from the pain and discomfort even if I was far from dying. I realized then that I look at death as the easy way out rather than bearing the cross of Christ!

I also feel like a reluctant prophet just like Jonah was! Sometimes I could feel God moving me to do something for Him but I stall or dilly dally, refusing to be out of my comfort zone or wonder if what I'm inspired to do would actually accomplish anything, afraid of failing or be laughed upon. Oh I could be stubborn but the Lord never gives up on me and arranges things so that I may do His will.

The Book of Jonah is open ended. God asked him if he had a right to be angry for feeling discomfort or for hurting his pride even if such would show God's mercy to a lot of people. The book did not say if he had a changed of heart and followed God's will and design but I certainly want it to have a happy ending.

My sickness... I didn't really asked God why or why me when I got to learn about it. Somehow I knew that He has something good in mind. Yet there are times that I lose heart also. I pray that I focus on the miracle Jonah experienced and not on his shortcomings. I pray that the miracle feels so BIG that I could no longer feel distracted by the discomforts. Just like Jonah being inside the fish for 3 days and nights, I hope that I appreciate the little miracles I have been experiencing while I am sick and I hope that such miracles move me to completely trust and believe in Him and to consent to His will!

Ahh yes and to act boldly on His inspirations!

So please dear God, give me the grace! Amen.