Saturday, June 30, 2012

Mid year status

Half of the year has ended...
Time seems to fly fast...

I had my 6th checkup last June 16. It is earlier than my scheduled checkup on the 21st since I was not feeling too well the past weeks. I just missed the doctor when I came to the clinic since he went to a have a check in a surgery. The secretary said he'll just have a "look-see" and be back, however, there was a long list already. It was not my schedule but since I was not feeling too well, I texted my doctor if he'll see me and he said okay. I came around 11:00 am... then past 12:00 the other patients came... then more patients...he was supposed to be back by 1:00...2:00 he was still not around 3:00 still no sign... many patients left. I asked the secretary if he was coming back and she said he has not advised that he can't make it so it means that he might still come by but it was late already and she was sorry for my lost time... I said I was not wasting time since I was praying anyway  and I have already waited so I might as well wait some more...

So sometimes times seem to fly fast but other times it seem to drag forever...

But they say PATIENCE is a virtue and in the end it paid off.

He came and he saw me! He just prescribed medicine for the pain and said that so far, everything looks good. That definitely eased my mind and true enough with the medicine, my feeling improved on the following days. He did schedule my blood test and CT scan for July... the results will be a better gauge of my condition than the physical exam... so I am waiting again for the test and the result...



Saturday, June 9, 2012

Just what works?

Just what works if you have cancer?
Honestly I don't really know!
A lot of times I feel it is just trial and error 
using your best judgment. 
You could succeed...
You could fail. 

Sometimes you feel you're winning
then all of a sudden you're gone...
Or sometimes everything looks impossible
But in the end you'll make it...
So you don't really know!
 
This I am sure of though...
God works! 
In cancer and in everything else.
We do our best to succeed
But in the end everything is up to Him...
---<-@  beth

So it came to my mind again... What works? It has been several months since my last chemo and so far my checkup results have been positive. I am very happy of course. When an office mate who is usually on field assignment comes to our Head office, he would ask me "Are you a survivor, now?" And I would smile and say I guess so since it has been a while. Though at the back of my mind I would ask, Have I already survived cancer? Am I past through it?

I know of some people who were doing well when suddenly their cancer antigen level shoot up again and they have to undergo another round of chemo. There are others who swears by the effectiveness of food supplements and alternative treatment their family member or friends have been having and somehow you wonder if you should shift to such treatment. An office mate who has been inviting me to attend a health forum on naturapathic remedies has been glowing in the recovery of her sister through food supplements and the high technology natural remedies her sister has been undergoing when all of a sudden her health deteriorated after a bout with pneumonia and she died. Yet I would meet people who'd tell me they had cancer a long time ago but are still alive and doing pretty well. One lady from my doctor's clinic complained that she has been eating healthy, has completed the treatment before... so why is it back now? Yet there is another who says she has no resources yet through PCSO and the doctor's help she is able to get treatment and do pretty well.

One of the officers in our company whose wife has a cancer similar to mine also called me recently to show a clipping of stem cell treatment for cancer telling me that they are also thinking of such and maybe I too should consider saving up so I could have the same treatment...

Sometimes it could really be overwhelming on what to do to stay healthy so your body don't give in to your cancer cells. From seeing a lot of people I realized that it does not help to cry and be depressed when you have cancer so I try to be happy and positive. Yet I know that no matter how positive I can be, I still have no power over the big "C."

In the end, I know that only God has power over it. He decides whether to allow it to grow or to totally rid of it. He has His own plans for me and for others. All I can do is to do my best in living a healthy, positive life the best I can so I can properly cooperate on His design for me.